When I heard that Senator Kerry was conceding the race Wednesday morning I thought I was going to be sick.

How could the American people vote for what they know isn’t good for them I asked myself.

But then I remembered college -- and beer bongs.

It wasn’t smart. No one person should drink an entire pitcher of beer in less than a minute, but so many of us did. It was fervor. Standing around wearing sheets and with twigs in our hair gleaned from the neighbors’ bushes somehow seemed right.

So I’m thinking to myself, ‘how should we deal with the next four years’?

It’s tempting to kick back in the old Lazy-boy with a few Bud Lights, drag out a tin of chew and set the TV to NASCAR. I could occasionally flip to TV church to remind myself what a moral person I am. I could let myself get all excited that someone will take away my hunting guns because those crazy liberals want to outlaw Uzi’s and AK-47’s. 

It would just be easier.

Being from a Republican family I can understand the beauty of Bush’s simplicity. Painting Senator Kerry as anti-God, anti-gun, pro-lawyer, pro-Gay, unpatriotic and against every moral standard known to man seems simple. Accepting that rhetoric is just so much easier than thinking. 

It must be liberating to not have to look at the state of the economy and our crippling unemployment rates. How swell it must be to lament how terrible it was that Clinton lied about oral sex but it’s ok when Bush lied about weapons of mass destruction to get us into a war that killed over 1000 of our service men and women.

And of course we all know the republicans are all for less regulation and less government right? Uh oh, I almost forgot about that whole gay marriage issue. 

Our constitution, which is supposed to guarantee things like life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness apparently needs to be amended so gays can’t be both happy and gay. I’ve been happily married for fourteen years but somehow some big government politician who says he’s for smaller, less intrusive government is going to protect my marriage by making it so others can’t marry?

There must be something I’m missing.

Maybe I need a bit more clarity. Maybe I need to dust off that old beer bong.